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>> Free PDF Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families, by Pamela Paul

Free PDF Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families, by Pamela Paul

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Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families, by Pamela Paul

Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families, by Pamela Paul



Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families, by Pamela Paul

Free PDF Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families, by Pamela Paul

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Pornified: How Pornography Is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships, and Our Families, by Pamela Paul

"Strips porn of its culture-war claptrap . . . Pornified may stand as a Kinsey Report for our time."--San Francisco Chronicle
Porn in America is everywhere--not just in cybersex and Playboy but in popular video games, advice columns, and reality television shows, and on the bestseller lists. Even more striking, as porn has become affordable, accessible, and anonymous, it has become increasingly acceptable--and a big part of the personal lives of many men and women.
In this controversial and critically acclaimed book, Pamela Paul argues that as porn becomes more pervasive, it is destroying our marriages and families as well as distorting our children's ideas of sex and sexuality. Based on more than one hundred interviews and a nationally representative poll, Pornified exposes how porn has infiltrated our lives, from the wife agonizing over the late-night hours her husband spends on porn Web sites to the parents stunned to learn their twelve-year-old son has seen a hardcore porn film.
Pornified is an insightful, shocking, and important investigation into the costs and consequences of pornography for our families and our culture.

  • Sales Rank: #526733 in Books
  • Published on: 2005-09-08
  • Released on: 2005-08-11
  • Original language: English
  • Number of items: 1
  • Dimensions: 9.48" h x 1.16" w x 6.28" l,
  • Binding: Hardcover
  • 320 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Having already carved out a major niche among 20-to-30-somethings with The Starter Marriage, Paul takes on another bane of postfeminism: the Internet-enabled "all pornography, all the time" mentality of many younger men and its ripple effect on the culture. For this pornograph, Paul interviewed more than 100 people—80 of them young, straight men. Some findings are predictable: porn allows men "to enjoy the fantasy of endless variety," but can distract men from their partners, detract from their sexual skills and harm relationships. More valuably, Paul finds women caught under new forms of social pressure—from men and women—not to disdain porn: to do so, now, is (among other things) to be seen as limiting women's sexual self-expression. Paul also sees porn seeping ever sooner into preteen life and sensibly observes that there's no reason for porn to be limitless on the Net when it's regulated elsewhere. Still, a critique that aims to avoid religious conservatism's invocation of sin and radical feminism's emphasis on civil rights violations can get fuzzy. Like Potter Stewart ("I know it when I see it"), Paul can't always distinguish sex-related art from pornography other than on a case-by-case basis; things get especially thorny regarding the torture and pain that, she asserts, "many, perhaps most men, find alluring." She ends up arguing that pornography, like alcohol or cigarettes, should be "discouraged," and proposes an effort by the government and private sector to quell consumer demand. Paul's outlines and analyses can seem simplistic, and her prose rarely rises above the level of the Time magazine feature on which the book is based. But she covers a lot of territory, and there's plenty to unnerve the knee-jerk "free speech" crowd. This will be a major watercooler book this season.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist
It's beyond argument that pornography in America today has achieved a certain respectability: think of porn star Ron Jeremy's reputation in the 1980s and his reputation today. Paul details how the ubiquity of pornography impacts our personal lives. She discusses studies on the subject--in one, 77 percent of respondents said they had looked at pornography at least once in a 30-day period--and shares interviews with many who watch it regularly. Paul's analysis is wide-ranging: why men look at porn and how porn affects them, how women see pornography, how porn affects sexual relationships, the effects of porn on children. If Paul is far less polemical than, say, Andrea Dworkin, her book reveals a sadness about it all, reflected in one user's comment: "I don't see how any male who likes porn can think actual sex is better, at least if it involves all the crap that comes with having a real live female in your life." Certain to generate discussion, as did Paul's previous book, The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony (2002). Alan Moores
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Review
"Pornified is rife with tales of Americans experiencing a new level of sexual pathos, filled with snapshots of surreptitious lives: it is as compelling as it is troubling. A provocative book, sure to stir debate and reflection."--Margaret Talbot, senior fellow, New American Foundation, and staff writer, The New Yorker

"Pamela Paul convincingly and sometimes shockingly details the effects on men, women, and children living in a 'pornified' world. Her book should be a wake-up call for parents and should change the way we view--and rationalize viewing--pornography today. As Paul makes clear, porn is not 'cool,' or 'liberating,' or basically benign. It is a poison eroding relationships between men and women and darkening our children's horizons."--Judith Warner, author of Perfect Madness

"This is a quietly forceful book. It helps everyone--from libertarian to moralist--by offering a common ground from which to proceed: pornography is one more alienating product of a consumer culture, and in some ways a particularly lonely one. By definition it is selfish. That doesn't mean it needs to be banned; it does mean we need to think about what it's doing to each of us, and to our shared society."--Bill McKibben, author of The End of Nature and Enough


"Pornified is rife with the tales of Americans experiencing a new level of sexual pathos, filled with snapshots of surreptitious lives: it is as compelling as it is troubling. A provocative book, sure to stir debate and reflection."
-- Alissa Quart, author of Branded: The Buying and Selling of Teenagers  "A sharp rebuke to porn's glamorization."--Los Angeles Times Book Review
"An alarming, thought-provoking overview of today's cyber-sexual society."--The Seattle Times
 
"Pamela Paul sets out to scare readers about the effects of pornography on American society, and she succeeds mightily."--St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Most helpful customer reviews

46 of 54 people found the following review helpful.
Brilliant solution to the free-speech conundrum
By Paul Grant
Ms. Paul feels that the debate about porn in the civic arena is stuck in the 1970s, oblivious to the rapidly deteriorating landscape around us. Most Americans now view pornography on a regular basis, and most of those viewers do not consider Playboy to be porn. Clearly something wild is afoot, something akin to a social earthquake or a drug epidemic.

Porn today is far more intense, far more accessible, far more violent, and, yes, far more chauvinistic than anything we've had before, and we as a society are in denial. Pornography is now cool, and nobody dares transgress almighty cool. Somehow porn has progressed from the domain of dark-sunglasses-and trenchcoat-wearing loners to movie stars and A-list entertainers. Today it is cool for the male mind to gorge on the objectification of women, and decidedly uncool for women to complain.

Paul's solution - "censure not censor" is a good one. For reasons from free speech to globalism in commerce, any large-scale prohibition of pornography is highly unlikely to have an impact on production or consumption. What is really needed, Paul argues, is good old-fashioned shame. As a culture we can regress in our crudeness. It has happened before.

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Just because she's a feminist doesn't mean she's wrong
By Josiah Kirby White
OK, she exaggerates, sometimes wildly. And OK, being a woman, she doesn't really understand what makes men tick (though she's certainly no man-hater). Nevertheless, her main argument is undoubtedly right.

If your sex life is real sex with a real woman, then unexpected things are always happening. Especially if you're spontaneous and can laugh at yourself and be yourself and encourage your partner to be herself, too, then sex rarely gets boring. You're never sure what's going to happen, because you're not really in control (sex is best when you're completely out of control); instead, life is in control of whatever happens. Not that it ever works out perfectly, but when you both end up feeling so good and so grateful, who cares? When these great times are shared, there's nothing else like it.

Porn is the opposite. Or haven't you been using it long enough to see that it gets old pretty quickly? When the same images start to bore you, you try something a little more "edgy." At first, you'll say to yourself, "I'd never consider THAT repulsive stuff." But eventually, you wind up in precisely that gutter yourself.

I'm sure she's right that well over half of US men use porn at least monthly. But since she exaggerates, it's hard to know just bad the problem really is. Porn might resemble alcohol: terribly corrosive for some, but relatively harmless for most. So if you're a woman, and you catch your hubby using porn some night, it's not necessarily any worse than his having a couple of beers. But if he also does other things that are starting to "really creep you out," then it's probably gotten worse than "just a couple of beers." If he treats you rudely during sex, or wants you to get into porn, too, or puts a lot of pressure on you to do things that gross you out -- then he's probably become the equivalent of a full-blown alcoholic.

Everybody's going to find something different in this book that really disgusts them. For me, it's the idea that so many young men think they are learning how to be better lovers by watching porn. (They probably think that drinking helps them drive better, too.)

I'll close with three quotes. First, there are some minor exaggerations that are flat-out ridiculous: "Even Playboy has a highly harmful effect on men's sexuality and ability to be in a serious relationship."

Page 85 is so well-written as to be worth the price of the book all by itself. Here's the first paragraph: "...with porn, certain vital emotions are bypassed altogether. Pornography contains little in the way of kissing, hugging, caressing, or holding--all the supposedly `feminine' aspects of sex that, stereotypes aside, can be key experiences for men as well. No one is ever vulnerable or insecure in pornography; there are no reassurances or exchanged intimacies."

The author is very sex-positive: "If men truly prefer sex to porn, they should be allowed and encouraged to act that way." The women in the book are always complaining that their "pornified" men don't want sex with them enough.

Sex is healthy. Porn has become common, and it can be addictive. It'll never be as healthy as good sex. And it can eventually drag you down into the gutter of perversion.

25 of 29 people found the following review helpful.
Worth your time to read
By J. Aragon
This book is worth purchasing and reading or at the very least leafing through at the library.

The author does an interesting job of presenting controversial material. Today if you're not supportive of the Porn Industrial Complex, somehow you're either a puritan or another woman with an axe to grind!

Paul is on to something with this well-read (read not another dry academic polemic) and so-so researched book. I don't think her "study" meets the requirements of an acceptable social science inquiry, but that is another issue.

The quotes and observations from people who view porn are the most telling and allow her to make her point easily.

See all 70 customer reviews...

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