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Lady: My Life as a Bitch, by Melvin Burgess
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If you gotta be a dog, be a bitch.
"My tail was going bananas as I rounded the corner and headed into Platt Fields park. The pavement was alive; my nose was an eye that sees into the past. I speeded up. Oh, I was in love with Terry, but to run and sniff and feel my ears catching sounds out of the air! But what do you know? Only a dog could understand what I mean."
Sandra Francy is seventeen and having way too much fun. Everyone wants to stop her but the problem is, she likes it. When she accidentally gets turned into a dog she's horrified at first, but soon she starts to wonder if being human is worth the effort. Her attempts to hang on to her humanity are bizarre and often hilarious-but her life as a dog leads her to pleasures she hardly knew existed.
Award-winning author Melvin Burgess brilliantly captures the realities of teenage life and hormone imbalance.
- Sales Rank: #2751406 in Books
- Published on: 2002-05-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.62" h x .91" w x 5.62" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 256 pages
Amazon.com Review
Controversial and award-winning British author Melvin Burgess (Smack, Bloodtide, etc.) is in fine form in his brilliant, satirical novel about a hedonistic teenage girl who is turned into a dog by a mysteriously magical town drunk. Sandra (a.k.a. Lady) is dismayed at first, but quickly discovers the pure joys of unfettered freedom to do whatever she wants and have sex with whomever she pleases--a seemingly perfect scenario for a devil-may-care young woman who would "have shagged [Wayne] up against the wall for a bag of jelly beans a month ago."
Hooking up with a couple other humans-turned-dogs, Lady roams the streets and, well, does what doggies do: "One thing about dogs--they know how to greet someone. It's not so much scratch and sniff as sniff and lick--as soon as you see someone, you just gotta know what they taste like!" Her new life is not without inner turmoil, however. Part of her longs to return to her human life, annoying family, standardized school testing, boy-of-the-day "romances," and all. Living as a dog helps her study what it means to live as a human--with the responsibilities, silly inhibitions, stress, and worry that mark that species--but also the flip side: the security and love of her family.
Ultimately the decisions Sandra/Lady makes may be shocking, but Burgess's voice is undeniably, ruthlessly authentic. Readers in search of a traditionally moralistic diatribe against the reckless promiscuity of today's youth will need to look elsewhere. But those seeking a funny, sensual, and honest exploration of real teenage life and a much more intense and complex study of humanity will revel in the author's expertly crafted allegory. As Burgess himself says, "even someone who doesn't know what an allegory is will recognize that Lady is not a piece of advice, or a suggestion on how to govern your life; it's simply a way of trying to make people think about the ways in which we define work and play." Highly recommended. (Ages 14 and older) --Emilie Coulter
From Publishers Weekly
Burgess, acclaimed British author of Smack and Bloodtide, is a fearless writer. Here he once again creates satisfyingly flawed characters with strong sexual drives and compromised morals. A selfish, hedonistic 15 year-old gets turned into a dog by an alcoholic bum with magical powers. For a while, Sandra becomes the pet of her addict transformer, but soon realizes the relationship is toxic: "I was like a hundred other girls, who like to think they can change the man they love the man who is ruining your life day by day into something worthwhile." Sandra finds she savors the pleasures of dog life sensual, irresponsible and impulsive and runs off with two other former humans, the id-driven Fella and his nostalgic sidekick, Mitch, both of whom willingly oblige when she goes into heat. "People were watching and I didn't give a toss. Why should I care who watched? Life is so much simpler when you're a dog." The narrative intermittently flashes back to episodes from the narrator's human life, which charts her behavior as it grows wilder and more uncontrollable. The conflict comes when Sandra remembers her family and tries to communicate with them, vowing to give up the doggy ways that have characterized her in both human and canine forms and planning instead to be a considerate, more conformist person. But can she go back? Is her untamed life a wish fulfilled? Burgess keeps the suspense high to the very last. This seductive volume is as raw and ravenous as its subject. Ages 14-up.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From School Library Journal
Grade 9-Up In this delightfully dark, funny novel, a rebellious 17-year-old taunts a homeless drunk who transforms her into "a scratty, hairy mongrel." Sandra tells her story in sparkling, lively, but often crude language. As a human, she ditches her crowd for more adventuresome friends, then gets into trouble for using drugs and having sex. Since her transformation takes place just pages into the story, however, most of her history comes in flashbacks. As a dog, she runs free, experiencing neither shame nor anxiety but glorying in the pleasures of chasing cats, devouring sausages, and (in fairly graphic detail) going into heat. At first, though, she returns home, only to have her family assume she's a mad dog and chase her away. She adopts the homeless man as her master and helps him beg for money. Sandra begins to revel in her new lifestyle, yet she matures enough to appreciate that her family and old friends loved her. But a last-ditch attempt to convince her family that she is their long-lost daughter ends in disaster. Finally, fed up with being judged and misunderstood, she chooses her life as a dog: "I want to be quick and fast and happy and then dead.- I don't want to be responsible." While this might not be the choice they would make for themselves, teens will identify with the narrator's sense of alienation and her defiant spirit. Some British terms may be baffling, but overall this is a quick, tremendously enjoyable read. -Miranda Doyle, San Francisco Public Library
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Wow not what I thought
By Sylvie
Lady My Life as a Bitch by Melvin Burgess dealt with many teenage issues such as teenage love, independence from family, and behavior. The title refers to a girl named Sandra who becomes a dog named Lady. Sandra wants to be independent and is almost in control of her risqué life. One day while out with her current boyfriend, Sandra encounters a homeless alcoholic. When she accidentally knocks over his beer, the alcoholic changes her into a dog, which is what she deserves according to some, the way she lives her life.
Frightened and not sure what has happened Lady as she is mow called runs to her house where her mom screams, calls the police, and tries to shoo her out of the house. When Lady sees herself in a mirror she truly realizes what has happened to her. That night in a shack she meets two dogs, Mitch and Fella who were also turned into dogs by the neighborhood drunk. They explain the situation in between sniffing. They also explain how great being a dog can be the pleasures of running all night and chasing cats.
Although being a dog is great Sandra does miss her family and goes one day to see them. With her dog memory she can only just remember them. Sandra carefully sneaks into her old room and puts some of her old clothes on and creeps downstairs. What will her parents think? Will they believe their beloved daughter presumed missing or dead is alive in the body of a dog? Will she ever be herself again? Read this to book to find out.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
magic
By chris
This is a great read and I can reccommend it to anyone. I thought that it dealt with a lot of issues very effectively, eg teenage love, seeking independence from your parents, and finding a place where you belong in society. Melvin Burgess is a fantastic author and if you enjoyed this you should try reading 'lady' too which is as good, if not better than 'junk'.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Hilarious
By Reed Stevens
This book is NOT for young teens! Very snappy read, very hip and really, really funny. Bittersweet story with the right ending- not sentimental, not moralistic, just plain fun. I read it straight through.
A bargain.
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